This is a book that was hailed as the anti-self help book. Where most self help books tell you what to do to gain a man (annoying if you ask me) this book goes in the other direction and tells us how the “self-help” culture gets in the way of actually falling in love.
In the first half of this book the author explains how certain books exploited the gender gap leading readers to believe there is something wrong with them if they do not act as if society accords them too. In one section she explains how her friend was reading from John Gray’s “Starting Over”. After she read a few passages this once strong independent woman became so concerned that she was doing everything wrong and started to act in the very manner that drives men off. She shows that these books were written for a time ages past. Instead she shows readers that just accepting yourself and acting like you is the best way to go. She does a through job at disassembling the convoluted gender stereotypes and why they do not work in today’s world.
The second half of the book she explains what to do if you been through a break-up. She treats relationships that have ended not as personal failures but as a way to grow. She states that each relationship teaches us something about ourselves and that we should take the opportunity to grow. She does caution against dating certain kind of men. Namely those who act as we were still in the 50’s.
I found myself agreeing with her. This is the kind of book strong independent woman need to read. After taking apart the self-help culture and poking fun at traditional books on how to get a man or what to do to keep a man she shows that acting like yourself really is the best way to go. This was a refreshing read. I too get tired of hearing that I must mold myself into a cookie cutter of a perfect wife or girlfriend to keep a man. Her overall tone of the book is that somewhere somebody will love your quirks is much needed.
